Short Story

I couldn't see anything in the darkness that surrounded me in his office, but for the silhouette that was his. The masculine shadow rose up and walked out of the room; closing the door behind him while acting as though nothing had happened. I, however, remained completely motionless, just lying on the couch. It was all I felt capable of at that moment for my stomach felt as though it was eating itself alive. I couldn't exactly remember what had happened because everything had happened so quickly. However, I knew that what I did was terribly wrong. I sat up to zip up my sweater and tie back my hair when I broke. I curled into a small ball and thought of only one person. I had betrayed him and just wanted to die. There was nothing left for me now that I felt weak, used, dirty and defiled.


I attempted to calm myself down so I could at least make it to the bathroom without anyone seeing me. With that, I stood up, opened the door, held my breath and bolted down the hallway. I was safe. Looking into the bathroom mirror was another story though. It was as though I was looking at a brothel whore. I turned on the tap to wash my mess of a face and riffled through some cupboards to try and redo what was left. As soon as I felt I was cleaned up, I walked out into the party as though nothing was wrong. However, truth be told, I just wanted to go home. I wanted to shower, crawl into bed and wake up the next morning; relieved that it was all just a nightmare.


The next evening I received a knock on my front door.

It was my love.

I was overjoyed and threw my arms around him. He sluggishly pulled me off while looking at his feet.

"We need to talk about some things. Maybe it's best if we go for a walk." He mumbled.

When I heard his tone, I was mortified.

It started to heavily rain as we walked behind my house. We weren't even half a block away before he turned to me, grabbed me by my shoulders and yelled,

"What the hell is wrong with you?! My brother? How does that make you feel? Jesus Christ, Mikaley! What did I do to deserve this!?"


He had a look in his eyes I had never seen and it killed me to look at him. I could feel his hands start to shake as they slid down my arms. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. When I opened my mouth, nothing came out. My vision started to blur from the buildup of tears, but I didn't dare look at him. I hung my head and just stared at soaked concrete. A lump slowly started to form in my throat, which made it hard to breath and even harder to swallow. I remember slowly looking up through rain saturated hair and tear drenched eyes. He looked at me with the same expression and just gently shook his head as he heaved out a great sob. My eyes fell again but quickly shot back up when I heard footsteps. He was walking away from me, and I just stood there!

I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. I know that I'll never forget his face on that day, because that was the last time I saw him. He no longer acknowledges my existence and I can guarantee that for the rest of my life, I'm going to regret ever going to that party. I should have declined the invitation, I should have rejected the drinks handed to me and I should have left when I felt uncomfortable in my surroundings. But there was nothing left now. Nothing but shoulda, coulda, woulda's.