Echoes. Many other worlds true horizon makes the endless ever
Present echoes into other worlds true horizons into the endless ever
Present echoes. Many true horizon takes a turn
Echoes reflect and change they serenade...
I went back to the one place that I consider home the other weekend. It was amazing. Just recently I started liking a new guy. [Which yes, means that I am moving on!!!] And I got to see him. After a phenomenal night with him, it's left me feeling rather low because I've had to come back to the coast. Such a bla. I miss him terribly.
I'm not the kind of person that will admit outright that I like a guy but, this one I do. So frustrating only because I don't know where he stands.
How do you figure that one out without asking??
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
The Girl You Lost...
Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate...
Alright, so I'm going to make this blog entry a NASTY one. I think it's about time that I've grown a fucking backbone and stopped being so goddamn whiney and upset. I mean, FUCK. Chad's an obvious idiot! He gave ME up for a 17 year old mutt who, how one of my friends put it, "is that of an amazon woman with thunder thighs of doom." Not a flattering comment, my dear readers. Not a flattering comment at all! But I will GLADLY listen to it. =)
Something that completely caught me off guard when I was "creeping" her profile is that well, she seems to have the EXACT necklace that my ex gave me. F****** up much? Look, you can dress up a bag of shit all you want... Spray Victoria's Secret perfume on it, give it a longboard, throw make-up on it and more... But at the end of the day, it's still a bag of SHIT. HAH!
I am SO happy that I am not with that chump anymore! It was obvious that he couldn't keep up with me. He actually said to me that if I was going to go to Vancouver for school, we'd have to break up because he can't do long distance and that was the root of almost all of our fights!! Then what he does, he turns around and goes out with a 17 year old PAPER BODY BAG GIRL who lives in Alberta. Who's the fuckin hypocrite there? That's right, he is.
How can someone honestly say one thing and completely do the other? It just boggles my mind!! I don't understand...
...I just don't understand.
By the way, God says you have Genital Warts. (amongst other things you've contracted from this ho) =)
END!
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate...
Alright, so I'm going to make this blog entry a NASTY one. I think it's about time that I've grown a fucking backbone and stopped being so goddamn whiney and upset. I mean, FUCK. Chad's an obvious idiot! He gave ME up for a 17 year old mutt who, how one of my friends put it, "is that of an amazon woman with thunder thighs of doom." Not a flattering comment, my dear readers. Not a flattering comment at all! But I will GLADLY listen to it. =)
Something that completely caught me off guard when I was "creeping" her profile is that well, she seems to have the EXACT necklace that my ex gave me. F****** up much? Look, you can dress up a bag of shit all you want... Spray Victoria's Secret perfume on it, give it a longboard, throw make-up on it and more... But at the end of the day, it's still a bag of SHIT. HAH!
I am SO happy that I am not with that chump anymore! It was obvious that he couldn't keep up with me. He actually said to me that if I was going to go to Vancouver for school, we'd have to break up because he can't do long distance and that was the root of almost all of our fights!! Then what he does, he turns around and goes out with a 17 year old PAPER BODY BAG GIRL who lives in Alberta. Who's the fuckin hypocrite there? That's right, he is.
How can someone honestly say one thing and completely do the other? It just boggles my mind!! I don't understand...
...I just don't understand.
By the way, God says you have Genital Warts. (amongst other things you've contracted from this ho) =)
END!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
How Am I Gonna Make You Mine??
oh baby, I don't know how you live with yourself
sweet honey, you know I don't want no body else
I'm sleeping through the day
I'm (moping?) through the night
I hope you love me some day
so I can hold you through the night
and I don't know what to do
when I see you holding some one elses hand
and I don't know what to say
cause when I open my mouth I always sound so stupid...
I've been really sick lately. Fighting a really bad cold and a fever has left me exhausted and somewhat delusional. Since being sick, I've been having these terrible nightmares. Now, the only reason I call them nightmares is because I don't want to dream about these things. Reason being is because all my dreams are about Chad. My body is so exhausted from fighting this cold/fever, I've completely left myself open to think about him, goddamnit.
They aren't new scenarios though... They are just flashbacks. So in other words, I'm just being constantly reminded of everything I've lost. Like I really need that in my life at this time?? To make matters worse, when I wake up, I sit in front of the television in hopes that it'll make me drowsy and fall back asleep. However, when I turn it on and switch to my favorite station, I always see Diamond on a Landmine by Billy Talent. WTF. The one band that reminds me of him because thats where we met?! FML FML F..M..L..
I just want it to stop... Is that too much to ask for??
sweet honey, you know I don't want no body else
I'm sleeping through the day
I'm (moping?) through the night
I hope you love me some day
so I can hold you through the night
and I don't know what to do
when I see you holding some one elses hand
and I don't know what to say
cause when I open my mouth I always sound so stupid...
I've been really sick lately. Fighting a really bad cold and a fever has left me exhausted and somewhat delusional. Since being sick, I've been having these terrible nightmares. Now, the only reason I call them nightmares is because I don't want to dream about these things. Reason being is because all my dreams are about Chad. My body is so exhausted from fighting this cold/fever, I've completely left myself open to think about him, goddamnit.
They aren't new scenarios though... They are just flashbacks. So in other words, I'm just being constantly reminded of everything I've lost. Like I really need that in my life at this time?? To make matters worse, when I wake up, I sit in front of the television in hopes that it'll make me drowsy and fall back asleep. However, when I turn it on and switch to my favorite station, I always see Diamond on a Landmine by Billy Talent. WTF. The one band that reminds me of him because thats where we met?! FML FML F..M..L..
I just want it to stop... Is that too much to ask for??
Friday, August 13, 2010
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up...
...leave me with some kind of proof, it's not a dream, oh....
I keep on having flashbacks. To the days where things were far more simple and I had a sense of stability for once in my life. To the days when there was you. I have no idea why my brain keeps on bringing me back to these times. It's so frustrating!! One minute, I'll be in the middle of doing something and then I'll completely zone out and start daydreaming.
They all started when I began unpacking boxes and sorting through papers and documents the other day. I found the scrapbook I had started of us. It had photos of all of our crazy adventures together, movie ticket stubs, carnival wristbands, hand written letters and cute sticky love notes. I came across some letters I had written to Chad, but never sent... Most were lighthearted and full of love and lust. However, I came across some that were filled with sheer fear and anguish. Desperation almost.
I think that subconsciously, I knew things were going to end. But there was this part of me was just so scared that I clung on for dear life. I didn't want to lose him. I COULDN'T lose him?? I loved him so much! There was no way that he could be like every other guy that has chosen to walk and just as easily out in my life. I mean, he told me he loved me... He told me every night before bed and every single time we were together that he'd love me Forever and Always and my response was always "I love you too, Always and Forever." It just couldn't end!!
I still don't understand... or fully "get it". And to make matters worse, I have no idea what my point was in this entry. Guess I just needed to rant. ...Oh well, back to eating eggs it is for me!
I keep on having flashbacks. To the days where things were far more simple and I had a sense of stability for once in my life. To the days when there was you. I have no idea why my brain keeps on bringing me back to these times. It's so frustrating!! One minute, I'll be in the middle of doing something and then I'll completely zone out and start daydreaming.
They all started when I began unpacking boxes and sorting through papers and documents the other day. I found the scrapbook I had started of us. It had photos of all of our crazy adventures together, movie ticket stubs, carnival wristbands, hand written letters and cute sticky love notes. I came across some letters I had written to Chad, but never sent... Most were lighthearted and full of love and lust. However, I came across some that were filled with sheer fear and anguish. Desperation almost.
I think that subconsciously, I knew things were going to end. But there was this part of me was just so scared that I clung on for dear life. I didn't want to lose him. I COULDN'T lose him?? I loved him so much! There was no way that he could be like every other guy that has chosen to walk and just as easily out in my life. I mean, he told me he loved me... He told me every night before bed and every single time we were together that he'd love me Forever and Always and my response was always "I love you too, Always and Forever." It just couldn't end!!
I still don't understand... or fully "get it". And to make matters worse, I have no idea what my point was in this entry. Guess I just needed to rant. ...Oh well, back to eating eggs it is for me!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I saw something in your eyes...
...and I wanted it for myself...
Right now, I'm stuck. So this is what it feels like to be physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. New developments have shed light on the infamous question of "Why?". Needless to say, after learning the why factor I haven't slept, I haven't eaten, I haven't done anything. I spent the first few hours after hearing the news in a catatonic state, mind you. How else is one to react when she finds out that the reason her fiance left is because of another woman? A younger one... An ex at that...
Yes, I can talk to my friends about it to vent and attempt to make myself feel better but if anything, it just makes me hurt even more. When he ended things and I moved away, I felt as though I was running in this circle. I had a rope tied around my waist that was tied to a wild horse on the other end and if I didn't stop running... Well, you get the picture. Now I feel as though, I've tripped and I'm being dragged. Around and around and around in this circle that will just never end and I can't stop it.
I talked to someone today, who I knew could help me. He's the kind of person that when I talk to him, Chad doesn't exist. He never did. Yet, today when I went to tell him what happened, he kind of just blew me off. It hurt. Maybe I should just deal with this one by myself. Focus on the original game plan and not deviate from it. Continue on with my goals that I am enroute to becoming successful with. I mean... Only 10 more lbs and a tan to go? I can do it.
When I get back to that town though, everyone will be in for a rude awakening. Ladies and gentlemen, Mikaley has changed and she's not looking back ever again. The old her is dead and the new her is alive and looking for more fun than ever before...
...Let's do this...
Right now, I'm stuck. So this is what it feels like to be physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. New developments have shed light on the infamous question of "Why?". Needless to say, after learning the why factor I haven't slept, I haven't eaten, I haven't done anything. I spent the first few hours after hearing the news in a catatonic state, mind you. How else is one to react when she finds out that the reason her fiance left is because of another woman? A younger one... An ex at that...
Yes, I can talk to my friends about it to vent and attempt to make myself feel better but if anything, it just makes me hurt even more. When he ended things and I moved away, I felt as though I was running in this circle. I had a rope tied around my waist that was tied to a wild horse on the other end and if I didn't stop running... Well, you get the picture. Now I feel as though, I've tripped and I'm being dragged. Around and around and around in this circle that will just never end and I can't stop it.
I talked to someone today, who I knew could help me. He's the kind of person that when I talk to him, Chad doesn't exist. He never did. Yet, today when I went to tell him what happened, he kind of just blew me off. It hurt. Maybe I should just deal with this one by myself. Focus on the original game plan and not deviate from it. Continue on with my goals that I am enroute to becoming successful with. I mean... Only 10 more lbs and a tan to go? I can do it.
When I get back to that town though, everyone will be in for a rude awakening. Ladies and gentlemen, Mikaley has changed and she's not looking back ever again. The old her is dead and the new her is alive and looking for more fun than ever before...
...Let's do this...
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Subconsciously Un-Guarded
My best friend and I have a problem, the same problem. We have the tendency to get quite lonely at night. It isn't the fact that we just want to be around people all the time, it's the fact that we always find ourselves thinking of the people we don't want to think of most of all between the hours of "bedtime" and "waking up".
Why is it always during these hours?? Why does it always hit us so hard??
I've come up with a theory:
We spend our entire day, spending all of our energy, desperately keeping them out of our minds so that by the time we are simply exhausted and should be resting, we give them the opportunity to creep back into our minds. We let our guards down because we are tired and in turn, unknowingly end up hurting ourselves.
It's nights like these where we cannot fall asleep because deep down inside, we know that there is something keeping us awake. Subconsciously, we know what it is but we just don't want to admit it. It's the memories of them the way we used to live our lives with those other people. We put ourselves into routines when we are with them. Whether it's a good night kiss before you cuddle each other to sleep or a text to say "I love you, goodnight" it becomes part of us. It's even the little things that we get used to with them... Getting bludgeoned in your sleep, dealing with excessive snoring, sleep talking or having the blankets kicked off the bed... Or even just rolling over in bed and having them be there. We miss all those things. We don't want to admit them, but we do.
And we can have all of our friends and family tell us that we were always too good for them, or too pretty, or we can do better but they can't stop the way we feel when those hours hit. It's when we're most vulnerable. Our minds, our feelings, our hearts are most exposed...
Why is it always during these hours?? Why does it always hit us so hard??
I've come up with a theory:
We spend our entire day, spending all of our energy, desperately keeping them out of our minds so that by the time we are simply exhausted and should be resting, we give them the opportunity to creep back into our minds. We let our guards down because we are tired and in turn, unknowingly end up hurting ourselves.
It's nights like these where we cannot fall asleep because deep down inside, we know that there is something keeping us awake. Subconsciously, we know what it is but we just don't want to admit it. It's the memories of them the way we used to live our lives with those other people. We put ourselves into routines when we are with them. Whether it's a good night kiss before you cuddle each other to sleep or a text to say "I love you, goodnight" it becomes part of us. It's even the little things that we get used to with them... Getting bludgeoned in your sleep, dealing with excessive snoring, sleep talking or having the blankets kicked off the bed... Or even just rolling over in bed and having them be there. We miss all those things. We don't want to admit them, but we do.
And we can have all of our friends and family tell us that we were always too good for them, or too pretty, or we can do better but they can't stop the way we feel when those hours hit. It's when we're most vulnerable. Our minds, our feelings, our hearts are most exposed...
Friday, July 30, 2010
I rip my hair out over you
Half the time I don't know what to do
Why won't the words come to me?
Lately nothing's been easy
I started a new life without you
My life shiny and I feel brand new
But somehow you creep back in
I'm the cushion and you're the pin
You're creepin' back in...
Why won't you get out of my head?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Sometimes I wish you were dead
So then I'd have no memories
Of what used to be.
He's a million times the man you'll ever be
And he makes me happy
Get over yourself, you're in the past
No wonder things didn't last
I can't believe I wasted that much time on you
And all those stupid things I thought were cute...
But somehow you creep back in
I'm the cushion and you're the pin
You're creepin' back in...
Why won't you get out of my head?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Sometimes I wish you were dead
So then I'd have no memories
Of what used to be.
Why won't you get out of my head?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Sometimes I wish you were dead
So then I'd have no memories
Of what used to be.
Half the time I don't know what to do
Why won't the words come to me?
Lately nothing's been easy
I started a new life without you
My life shiny and I feel brand new
But somehow you creep back in
I'm the cushion and you're the pin
You're creepin' back in...
Why won't you get out of my head?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Sometimes I wish you were dead
So then I'd have no memories
Of what used to be.
He's a million times the man you'll ever be
And he makes me happy
Get over yourself, you're in the past
No wonder things didn't last
I can't believe I wasted that much time on you
And all those stupid things I thought were cute...
But somehow you creep back in
I'm the cushion and you're the pin
You're creepin' back in...
Why won't you get out of my head?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Sometimes I wish you were dead
So then I'd have no memories
Of what used to be.
Why won't you get out of my head?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Sometimes I wish you were dead
So then I'd have no memories
Of what used to be.
Candles
Opposites Attract
Living on different pages
Romeo of the ages
Wear my heart on my sleeve
City Lights
Are something I thought I missed
But boy was I wrong
All I missed was your lips
On Mine
You could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
So don't put me out just yet
Live Life
We could die tomorrow
No point living in the sorrow
Take a chance
Real Love
It's something that I'll always miss
Always and Forever
I miss your lips
On Mine
You could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
So don't put me out just yet
And if you won't give it
Another chance
Won't you tell me baby?
And if you can't stay
Another night
Just know I'm yours completely...
All I missed was your lips....
On Mine
You could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
Oh, you could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
So don't put me out just yet
Living on different pages
Romeo of the ages
Wear my heart on my sleeve
City Lights
Are something I thought I missed
But boy was I wrong
All I missed was your lips
On Mine
You could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
So don't put me out just yet
Live Life
We could die tomorrow
No point living in the sorrow
Take a chance
Real Love
It's something that I'll always miss
Always and Forever
I miss your lips
On Mine
You could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
So don't put me out just yet
And if you won't give it
Another chance
Won't you tell me baby?
And if you can't stay
Another night
Just know I'm yours completely...
All I missed was your lips....
On Mine
You could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
Oh, you could make me melt
Can't describe what I felt
It's something I can't forget
So don't put me out just yet
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Lets clear the airwaves for once and FOR ALL!!!
Okay, now I know that everyone is probably pretty sick with this whole topic that I'm about to bring up... But to be completely honest, I am just so fed up with the bullshit that people are spewing about the whole situation. It's time to come clean and face the facts!!
So these are the renditions I've heard:
-*CENSORED* was told he broke up with you because you moved to Van and never even gave him notice just were like "Van is important and your not, I'm leaving" and took off with no discussion or explanation.
-You two split up after you moved to Van because he couldn't take being away from you and you wouldn't give him a chance.
-You were seeing someone else while you two were together and cheated on him non-stop. Then when you went to Van, you started seeing someone else right away.
...The list can go on and on and ON... HERE IS THE TRUTH GODDAMNIT!! So read carefully cuz I will only do this once!! =)
THE TRUTH:
I went to Vancouver for a VISIT. While I was out of town, I received a text message from Chad saying that he "couldn't do it anymore". Right off the bat, I asked, "what can't you do anymore?? what are you talking about?" So ladies and gentlemen, please let it be known... While I was out of town, VISITING friends... He actually broke up with me through a text message and here's the best part. Two days prior, he told me he loved me and couldn't wait for me to come home.
He never told me his real reason for ending things. I'm not sure why, but he can't even seem to face me when I confront him. I never did anything wrong. I never lied, I never cheated, I never manipulated. Yeah, I made a few mistakes in the relationship and we have fought. However, am I not human? Everybody makes mistakes. It's how you handle them and deal with the situation that makes the person. I am taking full responsibility for everything. Things I did do and things that never even took place.
AND AND AND!!!!! The only reason I moved to Van was because I couldn't stand seeing him after the fact. He actually pulled the 'friend card' afterward!! The whole line where one person ends up saying, 'It's over but I want us to still be friends.' Excuse me?! WTF?! How can you go from SUCH a serious relationship to just friends?! I desperately tried and it killed me. It tore me apart to see him everyday and know that I couldn't hold him, I couldn't kiss him... I couldn't be with him. And what put the cherry on top was the fact that he took everything so lightly!! He acted as though nothing ever happened and I was just always one of the guys. Do you know how heartbreaking that is?!?!?!
At the end of the day, I cannot deny that I still love him and care about him. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. (Which sometimes sucks.) It definitely makes getting over things that much harder and what makes that even HARDER is constantly hearing all the different ways I apparently broke Chad's heart. Try walking in my shoes for a moment... See where I'm coming from. And here's a concept!! The next time anyone is wondering what the hell is going on, try asking someone who is ACTUALLY involved. You'll get the truth!! Great idea, right? And to all the people out there who were spreading these blatant bullshit lies... Here's a great big FUCK YOUUUU AND HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!! =D
So now that I've vented my brains out... I think it's about time to go to bed. I mean, it's what? 5:40 AM on a Thursday?? Goodnight all!
So these are the renditions I've heard:
-*CENSORED* was told he broke up with you because you moved to Van and never even gave him notice just were like "Van is important and your not, I'm leaving" and took off with no discussion or explanation.
-You two split up after you moved to Van because he couldn't take being away from you and you wouldn't give him a chance.
-You were seeing someone else while you two were together and cheated on him non-stop. Then when you went to Van, you started seeing someone else right away.
...The list can go on and on and ON... HERE IS THE TRUTH GODDAMNIT!! So read carefully cuz I will only do this once!! =)
THE TRUTH:
I went to Vancouver for a VISIT. While I was out of town, I received a text message from Chad saying that he "couldn't do it anymore". Right off the bat, I asked, "what can't you do anymore?? what are you talking about?" So ladies and gentlemen, please let it be known... While I was out of town, VISITING friends... He actually broke up with me through a text message and here's the best part. Two days prior, he told me he loved me and couldn't wait for me to come home.
He never told me his real reason for ending things. I'm not sure why, but he can't even seem to face me when I confront him. I never did anything wrong. I never lied, I never cheated, I never manipulated. Yeah, I made a few mistakes in the relationship and we have fought. However, am I not human? Everybody makes mistakes. It's how you handle them and deal with the situation that makes the person. I am taking full responsibility for everything. Things I did do and things that never even took place.
AND AND AND!!!!! The only reason I moved to Van was because I couldn't stand seeing him after the fact. He actually pulled the 'friend card' afterward!! The whole line where one person ends up saying, 'It's over but I want us to still be friends.' Excuse me?! WTF?! How can you go from SUCH a serious relationship to just friends?! I desperately tried and it killed me. It tore me apart to see him everyday and know that I couldn't hold him, I couldn't kiss him... I couldn't be with him. And what put the cherry on top was the fact that he took everything so lightly!! He acted as though nothing ever happened and I was just always one of the guys. Do you know how heartbreaking that is?!?!?!
At the end of the day, I cannot deny that I still love him and care about him. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. (Which sometimes sucks.) It definitely makes getting over things that much harder and what makes that even HARDER is constantly hearing all the different ways I apparently broke Chad's heart. Try walking in my shoes for a moment... See where I'm coming from. And here's a concept!! The next time anyone is wondering what the hell is going on, try asking someone who is ACTUALLY involved. You'll get the truth!! Great idea, right? And to all the people out there who were spreading these blatant bullshit lies... Here's a great big FUCK YOUUUU AND HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!! =D
So now that I've vented my brains out... I think it's about time to go to bed. I mean, it's what? 5:40 AM on a Thursday?? Goodnight all!
Get To You
Six o'clock, there goes my alarm now
Monday, it's a sunny day out
I would stay in bed, but the truth is
You're the one that makes me wanna wake up
Loggin' in, checkin' on my e-mail
Just wanna talk and I'm hopin' that you'll be there
I've got so much to tell you
'Cause you're the only one that I can turn to
You know it drives me crazy, when you're so far away
I'd walk a million miles, just to get to you, next to you, little bit closer
I wanna get to you, I'll get a little loud if I have to
I said I really wanna get to you, and there ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Don't care what they say, doesn't matter anyway
Can't hold me back, 'cause I won't be without you
You know I really wanna get to you, and I'll do anything that I have to do
Can't breathe, can't sleep, baby can't you see
I won't stop 'till I know you're here beside me
Sittin' here, lookin' at a photograph
I'm missin' out on the moments that we should have had
Can't figure out what I'm gonna do
Try to forget so I don't have to miss you
Can't sleep, you're all I ever think about
I've got a plan and I'm hopin' it'll work out
I'm gonna get to you come rain, come shine, gonna do what I have to
I wanna get to you, I'll get a little loud if I have to
I said I really wanna get to you, and there ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Don't care what they say, doesn't matter anyway
Can't hold me back, 'cause I won't be without you
You know I really wanna get to you, and I'll do anything that I have to do
Can't breathe, can't sleep, baby can't you see
I won't stop 'till I know you're here beside me
I want to get to you, there's nothing I won't do
I want to get to you and there's nothing that I won't do
Ba-da... Wo-oh...
Yah I really wanna get to you
Monday, it's a sunny day out
I would stay in bed, but the truth is
You're the one that makes me wanna wake up
Loggin' in, checkin' on my e-mail
Just wanna talk and I'm hopin' that you'll be there
I've got so much to tell you
'Cause you're the only one that I can turn to
You know it drives me crazy, when you're so far away
I'd walk a million miles, just to get to you, next to you, little bit closer
I wanna get to you, I'll get a little loud if I have to
I said I really wanna get to you, and there ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Don't care what they say, doesn't matter anyway
Can't hold me back, 'cause I won't be without you
You know I really wanna get to you, and I'll do anything that I have to do
Can't breathe, can't sleep, baby can't you see
I won't stop 'till I know you're here beside me
Sittin' here, lookin' at a photograph
I'm missin' out on the moments that we should have had
Can't figure out what I'm gonna do
Try to forget so I don't have to miss you
Can't sleep, you're all I ever think about
I've got a plan and I'm hopin' it'll work out
I'm gonna get to you come rain, come shine, gonna do what I have to
I wanna get to you, I'll get a little loud if I have to
I said I really wanna get to you, and there ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Don't care what they say, doesn't matter anyway
Can't hold me back, 'cause I won't be without you
You know I really wanna get to you, and I'll do anything that I have to do
Can't breathe, can't sleep, baby can't you see
I won't stop 'till I know you're here beside me
I want to get to you, there's nothing I won't do
I want to get to you and there's nothing that I won't do
Ba-da... Wo-oh...
Yah I really wanna get to you
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tazo Tea Pick Me Up
You know, I was having a fairly grey and dismal day until I started talking to an old friend on Facebook. Here's our conversation:
Oh Mike... Thank-you! =)
Michael
you're in alberta no?
Me
no
van
Michael
damnit
Me
why?
Michael
weren't you in alberta?
Me
nope
penticton
Michael
or living there not too long ago?
close enough
I'm in alberta right meow
Me
cool cool
yea, i moved back home after chad called off the engagement
Michael
dude, wtf?
Me
yeah
Michael
mikaley, i;'m really sorry to hear about that
you deserve much much better
Me
ah well... can't be helped, now can it?
a lot of people are quite upset with him now because of him ending things so suddenly and not even explaining why he chose to do so
he burned a lot of bridges
Michael
that tends to happen when you wake up and set the controls to auto-douche
Me
haha
i like that... I'm going to put that in my blog. :P
Michael
my hard work
it took me like, a split second to think of that
Me
lolz
Michael
and now you're going to use it and be cool because of it
Me
no no
i give all credit to you mike
Michael
:O
Me
:D
Oh Mike... Thank-you! =)
Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop.
I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you...
Oh wait, no, I already have. I don't want to but i suppose I just don't really have a say in this. I want so badly to be over you but my heart just wont let you go. Why is that?? It's not like I enjoy feeling this way or love the way you hurt me. Perhaps I'm just so used to always having you on the brain that I've trained my heart to love it. Love how it feels when I compare everyone to you... Love how it feels when I catch myself looking at old pictures and videos of you or us... Love how it feels when I so much as say your name.
Ah, your name... It just rolls off my tongue so beautifully. Saying your name makes my heart melt and in the same instant, makes my skin crawl. I hate you, I love you, I loath you, I adore you... OH FUCK YOU!
I give you too much power over me. Why?? Why, why, why, why, WHY!?
By the way, I finally took my engagement ring off. Hope you're pleased. =)
Oh wait, no, I already have. I don't want to but i suppose I just don't really have a say in this. I want so badly to be over you but my heart just wont let you go. Why is that?? It's not like I enjoy feeling this way or love the way you hurt me. Perhaps I'm just so used to always having you on the brain that I've trained my heart to love it. Love how it feels when I compare everyone to you... Love how it feels when I catch myself looking at old pictures and videos of you or us... Love how it feels when I so much as say your name.
Ah, your name... It just rolls off my tongue so beautifully. Saying your name makes my heart melt and in the same instant, makes my skin crawl. I hate you, I love you, I loath you, I adore you... OH FUCK YOU!
I give you too much power over me. Why?? Why, why, why, why, WHY!?
By the way, I finally took my engagement ring off. Hope you're pleased. =)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Honest to God
I feel as though I am lying to myself. Lying to myself on what I want out of life, lying to myself about who I am and most of all, lying to myself about how I'm feeling.
Half of the time I feel as thought I'm just one big miserable blob that has been stuck on this planet to just wander and mope. Let the rain fall down on me just so I can be my usual sulky self. The other half of the time, I feel cramped and plastic. I'm faking this smile and this laugh that irritates even myself to no end. I need to own up to my real self...
I love you Chad David Mann. Even though you can be such an arrogant prick, I still seem to. To be quite frank actually, I hate that I fucking love your shitty ass guts.
....
*sigh!* That's better! =)
Half of the time I feel as thought I'm just one big miserable blob that has been stuck on this planet to just wander and mope. Let the rain fall down on me just so I can be my usual sulky self. The other half of the time, I feel cramped and plastic. I'm faking this smile and this laugh that irritates even myself to no end. I need to own up to my real self...
I love you Chad David Mann. Even though you can be such an arrogant prick, I still seem to. To be quite frank actually, I hate that I fucking love your shitty ass guts.
....
*sigh!* That's better! =)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
When I Call Your Name...
I've tried talking to you, but you just don't seem to listen to what I have to say. All I ask is of you to hear me out and give me a chance to speak; where you will actually listen and understand the words that come out of my mouth. I've now resorted to music and songs to get you to pay attention and listen. I shouldn't have to...
When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne:
To sum up how I feel is one phrase in this song is 'I miss you.'
I miss everything we used to have. I miss your goofy looks that you used to give me. I miss running my hand over your face because it I always knew it would make you smile. I miss the way you used to kiss me and I miss the way your hand would always find mine when you were driving. I miss the way I would smell if I spent the night at your house and I miss the way I would get beamed throughout the night if you were having a regular spell of sleep flailing, sleep talking or sleep fighting. If I was ever in need, you were there for me. If there were any problems at my house, you told me to so much as call and say "Come get me" and you'd be there. Sure enough, you always were. You held me when I would cry and you would listen to me when I'd need someone to vent to after a bad day at work or even at home. I miss you...
Sorry - Buckcherry/Sorry - Chris Daughtry:
I've hurt you a lot, I understand that now. I never had the intention of it nor did I have any idea that thinking about moving away for school would cause such a situation. That whole week we fought, I was dying inside. I spent more nights crying because I knew how upset you were and I was to blame. Then turning around and deciding to stay and then just as easily being swayed to go back to the coast... You are right. It was a mind game. It wasn't fair to you. You deserved better than that; no denial there. I am ashamed of how I acted. I wish I could turn back time and change what happened, but I can't. Apart from that, a lot has happened and I'm now left apologizing for things that I haven't even done. In fact, for things that never even took place. But I just want us to be alright. I just want you to listen and believe me when I attempt to tell you the truth. All I can say is I'm sorry and hope that you'll possibly forgive me.
Breaking Inside - Shinedown:
At the end of the day, I just don't understand. I don't understand what went wrong. When I go back and read old message between us, the change happened within two days! Two days in which I wasn't even in town. How do you explain? At this time and place in my life, I feel as though everything is just falling part. Yes, I've made mistakes in the past but so have you and there's this part of me that just wants to move past it all and work things out. I've tried moving on and I can't. I loved you then and I love you now... I always will and if you actually claimed to love me, your feelings would still exist. Love doesn't just disappear over a night. That's not how it works... You obviously didn't love me if that's how you feel. Even if that's the case than just be a man and say it!! Because with everyday that passes, I fall more and more apart. I'm falling to pieces and it's over you. Doesn't that count for anything?
When I Call Your Name - Chris Daughtry:
Oh fuck it, I can't sugar coat it anymore....
[Taken from an actual message to you.]
I fucking love you. I poured myself to you and told you things about me and my life that nobody knows. I wouldn't even dare trust them with. But I trusted you because I knew you wouldn't judge me and no matter what, things would never change because you told me you loved me. Real love is unconditional and if it's true, it overcomes all obstacles. What I felt for you was real love... What you felt was conditional and if you wanted "us" badly enough, you would have talked to me. You would have come to me and told me what was going on. I mean, why else would I still be trying to sort things out and trying to make them work!?
... You should have just told me how you really felt.
And the best part of it all is... I've taken the blame for everything. I've taken the shit end of it all. I understand that your life isn't sunshine and rainbows... but mine isn't some day at the beach either. I left Penticton because I didn't want to run the risk of seeing you because seeing you kills me. I packed what I could, moved away, by myself, with no job and nowhere to go and $150.00 to my name. I have yet to have a night where I don't cry over you. And to be completely honest, I feel stupid for it. I promised myself that I'd never, ever, EVER let someone hurt me like that again. And then what do I do? I meet you.
You even promised me that you would never hurt me and I think you've hurt me more than anyone else in my life ever has. More than any stranger, more than any guy I've ever dated and even more than my own family has. You've scarred my heart in such a way that I know it won't heal. I'm broken now and I want you to know that.
You may be upset and have your own ways of coping and covering up how you feel, but I can't even use my own coping mechanisms. I am BROKEN and I can't be fixed!! How I managed to let you in to my heart that deep is beyond me, but I did... And I feel so STUPID for it.
And whatever these "people" told you... I can deny until the day I die on what they've said but you won't listen. Anything I say, like this message for example, will fall on deaf ears. So I guess, all I can say is what I know of the truth...
I love you. I always have and I always will. I've always been faithful and always been honest with you. I never wanted to hurt you and if I did, it wasn't intentional. Yes, I've made mistakes in the past, but am I not human? I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. It didn't matter where we were, I just wanted to be with you. Vancouver was never a priority to me; you were. I'm sorry that things had to end this way. I never wanted it to end. Hell, I still don't want it to be over... But I guess you're past that point now.
I don't really know what else to say now...
I'm sorry.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Falling on Deaf Ears?
Since my last post, a lot has changed.
I lost someone I really loved and cared about -Scratch that, I still love and care about him. In turn, I packed what I could and moved back home to the coast. Everyday has been a struggle. Trying to find a job, trying to figure out where I'm going to be sleeping that night, etc. Luckily for me, I have a fantastic friend letting me stay with him until I get on my feet with a job and a place to live. Nevertheless, it doesn't help fix the feeling of emptiness that haunts me on a daily basis.
What emotion it is, I cannot be certain. But it is something that of a disease... A flesh eating virus that eats away at me from the inside out. The nightly sobbing episodes have subsided for now but I still cannot seem to get rid of that aching pain. I even tried talking to him today to see if it could help the situation, but if anything, his cold shoulders made it worse.
A part of me wants to tell him how I feel but another part is terrified. Because of him wanting to be "best of friends" I feel hindered in the aspect where if I do tell him what's in my heart and what's on my mind, then I could risk him seeing me as the desperate and clingy ex (which is ironic considering how he used to always ask me to be more clingy despite it being completely against my natural personality) and therefore risking losing him as a friend all together.
I guess I should just buck up and be honest? Put myself out there and see what happens? Oh God, What Do I Do?? ...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Emotional Risks
May 30th 2010:
I hurt someone tonight that means the world to me. Not intentionally, but I had to say what was on my mind and in my heart. When you have great opportunities for your future screaming out for you to take and the person you love more than life itself to choose from, what do you do? I know I didn't know. I never realized that having to tell someone you care about so much that you have to relocate for a chance at an amazing future would hurt to this extent.
I've loved, I've lost and I've made mistakes in my time but never have I felt the true sting of reluctantly doing "what's best for me". Is there ever a time that will come when you can truly be comfortable with taking such a risk while disregarding how other people feel or will even react?
I hurt someone tonight that means the world to me. Not intentionally, but I had to say what was on my mind and in my heart. When you have great opportunities for your future screaming out for you to take and the person you love more than life itself to choose from, what do you do? I know I didn't know. I never realized that having to tell someone you care about so much that you have to relocate for a chance at an amazing future would hurt to this extent.
I've loved, I've lost and I've made mistakes in my time but never have I felt the true sting of reluctantly doing "what's best for me". Is there ever a time that will come when you can truly be comfortable with taking such a risk while disregarding how other people feel or will even react?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Please Read The Letter.... The Brutal Truth...
For all my life, I've been under the impression that what you do when one door closes is that you open another door... Or at least a window to jump out of if things get really sticky. Well, things got really sticky for me. I was in a dead end relationship where I was unhappy and he was unhappy. We constantly fought, there was a lack of communication and most of all a lack of trust. I dealt with things in the wrong way and strayed. Yes, I can admit it, I was in the wrong. Needless to say, the relationship ended on bad terms with nothing but drama and a sour taste in my mouth. There were endless nights of phone calls, texts and constant threats of harming ones self. Naturally, I was upset and kept to myself for a while afterward.
The other door was slammed shut in my face...
We met and talked for a while over coffee after things died down and we came to the conclusion that we both handled the relationship in the wrong way. Invading my privacy and reading my texts between my friends and I and then with myself straying, we were both in the wrong. At that time, we decided that we wanted to still be friends and keep in touch and then maybe things would be alright.
He ended up moving to Vancouver in search of better prospects and throughout the time he was gone, I lived my life as my own. I worked hard, I went out with the girls and for the first time in a while, I wasn't stressed to an extreme. Life seemed fairly easy for once. However, what was to happen next was something I could have never expected. I went to a concert with a couple friends from work and had a great night of drinking and partying. A few of us ended up going to an afterparty at a nightclub down the street from the event. There, we ran into more co-workers and that's when the real party began.
There was that window left open for me to jump out of....
While on the dancefloor with the girls, I was unfortunately confronted by a very forward man and found myself trying to push him off me with no success. My girlfriends even tried to help me and were unsuccessful. I found myself mouthing the words "Help Me" to a couple guys who were standing on the sidelines watching. One of which stepped in and rescued me from a situation that could have gotten out of hand. I ended up talking to him and thanking him profusely. He offered to buy me a drink and I accepted. That's where it all began...
I am now seeing my rescuer and have been since quite recently.
However, the same night that we started going out, my ex texted me to tell me he was moving back the next weekend. What I thought was going to be a cordial conversation and perhaps a chance to go for coffee as friends was nothing short of him telling me that I ruined his life and he's always going to love me. When I told him that I was now seeing someone, he snapped. I was then inundated with messages saying that he was going to find out who he was and "smash" his face in. Things were now crossing the line. He wasn't involved with this and shouldn't be harmed because of me... I started to panic. I tried to reason with him but he wouldn't have it.
"who ever it is is fuckin dead"
I can't argue with a threat like that. I have to take action. I texted my new boyfriend and told him what was happening and now unfortunately, we have to keep our relationship a secret in fear of my ex finding out. What shocked me even more was the fact that my boyfriend blamed himself for me having to deal with this! I tried to assure him that it wasn't his fault and that it was my mess to deal with, not his. I just wanted him to be aware of what was happening and I told him that I would do everything in my power to prevent it.
Back to the doors and windows... Yes, a door closed and another one was slammed shut in my face but I am so thankful that someone left that window open for me. If I hadn't of dove out of that window, and fallen from such a great height, I would have never met the guy who was there to catch me on the ground.
As for the ex, I hope that he runs into the glass when he tries to dive out of his next window...
The other door was slammed shut in my face...
We met and talked for a while over coffee after things died down and we came to the conclusion that we both handled the relationship in the wrong way. Invading my privacy and reading my texts between my friends and I and then with myself straying, we were both in the wrong. At that time, we decided that we wanted to still be friends and keep in touch and then maybe things would be alright.
He ended up moving to Vancouver in search of better prospects and throughout the time he was gone, I lived my life as my own. I worked hard, I went out with the girls and for the first time in a while, I wasn't stressed to an extreme. Life seemed fairly easy for once. However, what was to happen next was something I could have never expected. I went to a concert with a couple friends from work and had a great night of drinking and partying. A few of us ended up going to an afterparty at a nightclub down the street from the event. There, we ran into more co-workers and that's when the real party began.
There was that window left open for me to jump out of....
While on the dancefloor with the girls, I was unfortunately confronted by a very forward man and found myself trying to push him off me with no success. My girlfriends even tried to help me and were unsuccessful. I found myself mouthing the words "Help Me" to a couple guys who were standing on the sidelines watching. One of which stepped in and rescued me from a situation that could have gotten out of hand. I ended up talking to him and thanking him profusely. He offered to buy me a drink and I accepted. That's where it all began...
I am now seeing my rescuer and have been since quite recently.
However, the same night that we started going out, my ex texted me to tell me he was moving back the next weekend. What I thought was going to be a cordial conversation and perhaps a chance to go for coffee as friends was nothing short of him telling me that I ruined his life and he's always going to love me. When I told him that I was now seeing someone, he snapped. I was then inundated with messages saying that he was going to find out who he was and "smash" his face in. Things were now crossing the line. He wasn't involved with this and shouldn't be harmed because of me... I started to panic. I tried to reason with him but he wouldn't have it.
"who ever it is is fuckin dead"
I can't argue with a threat like that. I have to take action. I texted my new boyfriend and told him what was happening and now unfortunately, we have to keep our relationship a secret in fear of my ex finding out. What shocked me even more was the fact that my boyfriend blamed himself for me having to deal with this! I tried to assure him that it wasn't his fault and that it was my mess to deal with, not his. I just wanted him to be aware of what was happening and I told him that I would do everything in my power to prevent it.
Back to the doors and windows... Yes, a door closed and another one was slammed shut in my face but I am so thankful that someone left that window open for me. If I hadn't of dove out of that window, and fallen from such a great height, I would have never met the guy who was there to catch me on the ground.
As for the ex, I hope that he runs into the glass when he tries to dive out of his next window...
Friday, January 22, 2010
Short Story
I couldn't see anything in the darkness that surrounded me in his office, but for the silhouette that was his. The masculine shadow rose up and walked out of the room; closing the door behind him while acting as though nothing had happened. I, however, remained completely motionless, just lying on the couch. It was all I felt capable of at that moment for my stomach felt as though it was eating itself alive. I couldn't exactly remember what had happened because everything had happened so quickly. However, I knew that what I did was terribly wrong. I sat up to zip up my sweater and tie back my hair when I broke. I curled into a small ball and thought of only one person. I had betrayed him and just wanted to die. There was nothing left for me now that I felt weak, used, dirty and defiled.
I attempted to calm myself down so I could at least make it to the bathroom without anyone seeing me. With that, I stood up, opened the door, held my breath and bolted down the hallway. I was safe. Looking into the bathroom mirror was another story though. It was as though I was looking at a brothel whore. I turned on the tap to wash my mess of a face and riffled through some cupboards to try and redo what was left. As soon as I felt I was cleaned up, I walked out into the party as though nothing was wrong. However, truth be told, I just wanted to go home. I wanted to shower, crawl into bed and wake up the next morning; relieved that it was all just a nightmare.
The next evening I received a knock on my front door.
It was my love.
I was overjoyed and threw my arms around him. He sluggishly pulled me off while looking at his feet.
"We need to talk about some things. Maybe it's best if we go for a walk." He mumbled.
When I heard his tone, I was mortified.
It started to heavily rain as we walked behind my house. We weren't even half a block away before he turned to me, grabbed me by my shoulders and yelled,
"What the hell is wrong with you?! My brother? How does that make you feel? Jesus Christ, Mikaley! What did I do to deserve this!?"
He had a look in his eyes I had never seen and it killed me to look at him. I could feel his hands start to shake as they slid down my arms. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. When I opened my mouth, nothing came out. My vision started to blur from the buildup of tears, but I didn't dare look at him. I hung my head and just stared at soaked concrete. A lump slowly started to form in my throat, which made it hard to breath and even harder to swallow. I remember slowly looking up through rain saturated hair and tear drenched eyes. He looked at me with the same expression and just gently shook his head as he heaved out a great sob. My eyes fell again but quickly shot back up when I heard footsteps. He was walking away from me, and I just stood there!
I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. I know that I'll never forget his face on that day, because that was the last time I saw him. He no longer acknowledges my existence and I can guarantee that for the rest of my life, I'm going to regret ever going to that party. I should have declined the invitation, I should have rejected the drinks handed to me and I should have left when I felt uncomfortable in my surroundings. But there was nothing left now. Nothing but shoulda, coulda, woulda's.
I attempted to calm myself down so I could at least make it to the bathroom without anyone seeing me. With that, I stood up, opened the door, held my breath and bolted down the hallway. I was safe. Looking into the bathroom mirror was another story though. It was as though I was looking at a brothel whore. I turned on the tap to wash my mess of a face and riffled through some cupboards to try and redo what was left. As soon as I felt I was cleaned up, I walked out into the party as though nothing was wrong. However, truth be told, I just wanted to go home. I wanted to shower, crawl into bed and wake up the next morning; relieved that it was all just a nightmare.
The next evening I received a knock on my front door.
It was my love.
I was overjoyed and threw my arms around him. He sluggishly pulled me off while looking at his feet.
"We need to talk about some things. Maybe it's best if we go for a walk." He mumbled.
When I heard his tone, I was mortified.
It started to heavily rain as we walked behind my house. We weren't even half a block away before he turned to me, grabbed me by my shoulders and yelled,
"What the hell is wrong with you?! My brother? How does that make you feel? Jesus Christ, Mikaley! What did I do to deserve this!?"
He had a look in his eyes I had never seen and it killed me to look at him. I could feel his hands start to shake as they slid down my arms. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. When I opened my mouth, nothing came out. My vision started to blur from the buildup of tears, but I didn't dare look at him. I hung my head and just stared at soaked concrete. A lump slowly started to form in my throat, which made it hard to breath and even harder to swallow. I remember slowly looking up through rain saturated hair and tear drenched eyes. He looked at me with the same expression and just gently shook his head as he heaved out a great sob. My eyes fell again but quickly shot back up when I heard footsteps. He was walking away from me, and I just stood there!
I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. I know that I'll never forget his face on that day, because that was the last time I saw him. He no longer acknowledges my existence and I can guarantee that for the rest of my life, I'm going to regret ever going to that party. I should have declined the invitation, I should have rejected the drinks handed to me and I should have left when I felt uncomfortable in my surroundings. But there was nothing left now. Nothing but shoulda, coulda, woulda's.
Ode To Chivalry
A young girl grows up
dreaming,
wishing,
hoping
that she'll be swept off her feet.
By flowers
and candy
and poetry
By sweet serenades
under her bedroom balcony
and tender moments shared.
Yet,
something is wrong
There are no flowers
There is no poetry
No serenades
No special moments
Where has chivalry gone?
It's hidden behind
Macho personalities where
muscles are more dense
than decency
It's hidden behind
baggy "gangster" pants
and ideals that
make women
merely objects
It's hidden behind informality,
telephone calls
and text messages!
So this is to
the guys
willing to wait,
patiently
and contently
while saving their
love
for the girl
of their dreams
To the knights
in shining armor
To the Romeos'
who've serenaded young Juliets'
Chivalry isn't dead
it's just...
rare.
dreaming,
wishing,
hoping
that she'll be swept off her feet.
By flowers
and candy
and poetry
By sweet serenades
under her bedroom balcony
and tender moments shared.
Yet,
something is wrong
There are no flowers
There is no poetry
No serenades
No special moments
Where has chivalry gone?
It's hidden behind
Macho personalities where
muscles are more dense
than decency
It's hidden behind
baggy "gangster" pants
and ideals that
make women
merely objects
It's hidden behind informality,
telephone calls
and text messages!
So this is to
the guys
willing to wait,
patiently
and contently
while saving their
love
for the girl
of their dreams
To the knights
in shining armor
To the Romeos'
who've serenaded young Juliets'
Chivalry isn't dead
it's just...
rare.
Popularity.
I was on Facebook today and was just browsing over some old friends pages from high school. I came across one young girl's page. I can remember this girl quite vividly and will probably always remember her. She was loud, bubbly and outgoing. She had a heart of gold and was always wanting to be friends with people, but it sometimes got to the point where it showed a point of desperation. Therefore, making her naive to people using her as a doormat and taking full advantage of what she had to offer. [Which for the record makes me sick.]
I saw that she made a post on her page about popularity and how people become "popular". I was a tad bit curious on what people were giving her for advice and what their views were on popularity, so I read up. Here's what I found:
Original Post:
"What do people do to be popular ??? Fml"
Response 1:
be fake and not act like themselves. be who other people want them to be.
your amazing the way you are Hun
stay true to yourself
Response 2: (from girl who made original post)
It's hard to be in this fucked up world
Response 3:
I agree with ***** (response 1.)
After reading this and what the comments were, something in me sort of snapped. They were viewing popularity in almost a materialistic sense! Now, don't get me wrong, but yes, the girls that have the nice cars, the new GUESS purses and the cute little figures are popular. However, it's a temporary popularity. People flock to those they wish to be or be like, but at the end of the day, once high school is over, everything will change. It's inevitable. True popularity on the other hand will last a lifetime. I know what you're thinking, 'A lifetime?? That doesn't sound right.' But it's true. I ended up making my own comment on her post and hopefully you'll understand where I'm coming from once you read it.
My Response:
Not everyone acts fake and isn't true to themselves though. When I was in high school, I wouldn't say that I was a grade A loser or anything but I was popular in my own sense. People respected me because I was myself and if you didn't like that, then I didn't have the time for you. But at the end of the day, I was nice to everyone (for the most part) and always was there for others. I just tried to be the best friend I could possibly be and that's was what mattered most. Popularity isn't measured in who has the coolest clothes, who dates the captain of whatever team or who threw the craziest raging party on the weekend. Popularity is measured in your friends and how they respect you and treat you. The nicer and more appreciative you are to others, the more inclined people will want to be around you.
♥
I saw that she made a post on her page about popularity and how people become "popular". I was a tad bit curious on what people were giving her for advice and what their views were on popularity, so I read up. Here's what I found:
Original Post:
"What do people do to be popular ??? Fml"
Response 1:
be fake and not act like themselves. be who other people want them to be.
your amazing the way you are Hun
stay true to yourself
Response 2: (from girl who made original post)
It's hard to be in this fucked up world
Response 3:
I agree with ***** (response 1.)
After reading this and what the comments were, something in me sort of snapped. They were viewing popularity in almost a materialistic sense! Now, don't get me wrong, but yes, the girls that have the nice cars, the new GUESS purses and the cute little figures are popular. However, it's a temporary popularity. People flock to those they wish to be or be like, but at the end of the day, once high school is over, everything will change. It's inevitable. True popularity on the other hand will last a lifetime. I know what you're thinking, 'A lifetime?? That doesn't sound right.' But it's true. I ended up making my own comment on her post and hopefully you'll understand where I'm coming from once you read it.
My Response:
Not everyone acts fake and isn't true to themselves though. When I was in high school, I wouldn't say that I was a grade A loser or anything but I was popular in my own sense. People respected me because I was myself and if you didn't like that, then I didn't have the time for you. But at the end of the day, I was nice to everyone (for the most part) and always was there for others. I just tried to be the best friend I could possibly be and that's was what mattered most. Popularity isn't measured in who has the coolest clothes, who dates the captain of whatever team or who threw the craziest raging party on the weekend. Popularity is measured in your friends and how they respect you and treat you. The nicer and more appreciative you are to others, the more inclined people will want to be around you.
♥
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