...and I wanted it for myself...
Right now, I'm stuck. So this is what it feels like to be physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. New developments have shed light on the infamous question of "Why?". Needless to say, after learning the why factor I haven't slept, I haven't eaten, I haven't done anything. I spent the first few hours after hearing the news in a catatonic state, mind you. How else is one to react when she finds out that the reason her fiance left is because of another woman? A younger one... An ex at that...
Yes, I can talk to my friends about it to vent and attempt to make myself feel better but if anything, it just makes me hurt even more. When he ended things and I moved away, I felt as though I was running in this circle. I had a rope tied around my waist that was tied to a wild horse on the other end and if I didn't stop running... Well, you get the picture. Now I feel as though, I've tripped and I'm being dragged. Around and around and around in this circle that will just never end and I can't stop it.
I talked to someone today, who I knew could help me. He's the kind of person that when I talk to him, Chad doesn't exist. He never did. Yet, today when I went to tell him what happened, he kind of just blew me off. It hurt. Maybe I should just deal with this one by myself. Focus on the original game plan and not deviate from it. Continue on with my goals that I am enroute to becoming successful with. I mean... Only 10 more lbs and a tan to go? I can do it.
When I get back to that town though, everyone will be in for a rude awakening. Ladies and gentlemen, Mikaley has changed and she's not looking back ever again. The old her is dead and the new her is alive and looking for more fun than ever before...
...Let's do this...
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